RELEASED! SPRUNG! OUTTAH HERE!

On July 20th, I saw Dr. B, my surgical oncologist, for post op checkup. She came into my exam room beaming with a copy of my final pathology report indicating an "all clear". This means that, barring any problems with my still healing incisions, I am now released from her care. And my incisions are healing beautifully.

Her nurse removed the drain from my side and I was surprised to learn there was about 12" of tubing inside me! Once it was out (and it didn't hurt a bit), I felt so much more comfortable. The stitches holding the tubing in place were the reason for much of my discomfort .. and the fact that I had pulled on it pretty hard (by accident, trust me!) sure didn't help matters. Sleeping with four feet of tube is not easy. I was so afraid I was going to get all tangled up in it despite my rather limited ability to move around much after surgery. Anyway, getting rid of the drain was cause for celebration! I expressed my heartfelt gratitude for her wonderful care and said my goodbyes to Dr. B. I feel very fortunate that she was my surgeon.

We stayed overnight in The Woodlands as I had an appointment with my new radiologist the folowing day. Luckily, M. D. Anderson has a satellite center at St. Luke's hospital so I will be able to stay with Ashley and take all my radiation treatments without having to go downtown. Since I have six weeks of daily treatments .. that is a HUGE blessing.

So on the 21st we met Dr. S and her staff. I feel very comfortable being in her care for the next couple of months. Since I was less than two weeks out of my second surgery, radiation won't start for a few weeks. And, due to my reduced mobility because of recent surgery, I wasn't able to complete the simulation where they mark me (a tattoo!!) or fit me to my "cradle" which will assure that I am laying in the same position for every treatment. Between now and August 4th, I will exercise my left arm to assure more range of motion and flexibility allowing me to lay still, with my left arm extended over my head and my head turned over my right shoulder.

Once that appointment is behind me, I will begin radiation on August 8th and continue, Monday through Friday until September 16th. I'll stay in Willis Monday - Thursday and come home on Friday after my treatment. Dave and I have never been apart more than a couple of days but if anyone deserves a break from me ... it's got to be Saint Dave! He was an amazing nurse during my surgical phase. I couldn't have asked for him to be kinder or more patient with me.

The effects of chemo are lifting quicker than I expected. My only real complaint these days is ridiculously dry skin all over my body. It's almost like a healing sunburn and I can only attribute it to chemo. My hair is growing in, my eyebrows are visible though kind of funky and my eyelashes are slowly, slowly, S L O W L Y making a comeback. I am eating everything in sight because it all tastes SO good and there's not a smidgen of nausea. I had lost twenty lbs. at the end of chemo and have managed to restore twelve of them so far. (Dang it.)

So that's the latest from the former home of Herschel (d. 6.28.11), the next installment will be after my "tattoo" session (three pin-point dots, nothing artistic, sadly) on the 4th. Thanks so much for your love and concern. There's no doubt I am on my way back! :)

Blah, blah, blah.

So .... it's been a little over two weeks since my first surgery and tomorrow it will be a week since the second. I guess I am doing okay but the healing up and getting unsore process seems to be draggin' its ass a little. One thing is for sure, I will shout from the rooftops the glorifications (is that a word?) of Vicodin. In Tarzan-speak: "Pain, bad, Vicodin, Good."

The incision in my breast has been relatively painless. Surprisingly so. In fact, the only time I was aware of that surgical site was immediately after the second surgery when, in recovery, it felt like a herd of feral guinea pigs had been rooting around in there. When nurse Valerie asked how I was I let her know about the herd of feral guinea pigs and she immediately gave me a shot of something wonderful in my IV.

No, the real sore spot is my arm pit where the lymph node dissection is. That and the opening in my side where the drain is. Dave keeps telling me how great my incisions look (Saint Dave), but they sure as heck feel like they were done with a dull spoon and pointed stick!

My appreciation for high powered drugs is only superceded by my restored passion for FOOD! I've always liked food .. but Dave says I am eating like a refugee victim. I can't help it. These new taste buds require constant entertainment. Everything tasts so good! Those twenty lbs. I lost? Hmmmphf. They'll be fully restored soon. Dang it.

My hair is coming back. I actually have a hairline. Not a bikini line (TMI?) but a hair line. Dave loves running his fingers thru it. All 3/4" of it. So do I. Mom says we're going to wear it out and to leave it alone.

My skin is falling off. I guess it's chemo (everything awful IS, you know), but no amount of lotion or baby oil seems to quench my skin. As soon as I loose my drain (next week?), I will get in the tub and scrub myself from head to toe with sea salt and maybe I'll stop shedding.

My primary complaint is this weird, constant vague pain and numbness (yeah, I know, seems contradictory!) that runs from my shoulder to my elbow along the back of my left arm. Feels so sore it should be black and blue. I made the mistake of googling "arm pain after lymph node dissection" and all this STUFF came up that matched my symptoms perfectly. Some say that even 5 years after surgery, they still have the pain and numbness but that you learn to live with it. Apparently, the lymph node surgery causes the nerves to go postal and they never recover!

Consider the alternative.

My largest fear at this point is doing this again in five or ten or fifteen years. It's shoved down deep, not something I will dwell on (after all, I'm still pretty excited about hair and taste buds!) but it is something I think every cancer patient must think of. Ignorance is bliss and I am no longer ignorant.

Cancer Curmudgeon, Marjorie Walker

During my chemo I followed this blog. I liked this lady, Marjorie Walker. She was spunky and honest and didn't feel sorry for herself. Her journey with breast cancer started fifteen years ago with a lumpectomy. It ended last Friday. Even though I knew she was terminal, it made me really sad today when I read that she had died. And though we had never met, I was grateful for her story, her strength, her feisty attitude.

This song was one of her selections for her funeral ... I thought that was very cool.

I'm looking forward to seeing my surgeon, Doctor B, next week. It should be time for my drain to come out (yay!) and hopefully she'll release me to the care of the radiologist whom I will see the following day. It's too soon after surgery to start radiation but hopefully my appointments will be scheduled within a couple of weeks. Soon this will all just be a dusty spot in my rearview mirror. Herschel who?

Looking up ...

Looking up from my perch on the deck.

So ... Dave and I got up on Friday at 2:45 am and made the drive to Houston for my second surgery and further Herschel excavation. We saw about 35 deer along the roads in Houston and Walker counties but, thankfully, only one VERY large doe decided to saunter in front of our car. Dave braked slowly, so as not to jar me and all my boo boos ... and we were all fine. Silly deer.

We arrived three minutes early for our appointed 5:45 am date. Within ten minutes I, along with four other patients, was called back for wardrobe change and pre-op interrogation. (Is it REALLY necessary that they ask you the same questions four times? Hm.) Anyway, as usual, I got really great nurses who, despite the ungodly hour, were in cheerful spirits, warm and friendly. I really love all the MDA folks.

My anesthesiologist was terrific. She was blonde, Russian and adorable. She listened to my concerns about the last trip under. I woke up with a terrible sore throat that lasted almost a week. She said she would use a smaller tube and, since my surgery would be much shorter, I shouldn't have any problems. I didn't realize my last surgery was over three hours.

The last thing I remember is something cool going in my IV .. and Dave said I was out. I didn't even kiss him goodbye! I do remember waking (slightly) in the OR and scooting myself from one gurney to the other. I hope I did it with some modesty but I rather doubt it. Oh well .. it was an all girl party anyway.

So I woke up in recovery to nurse Valerie washing my face. Dave showed up sometime later and, once I had some saltines and apple juice (though I asked for bacon, eggs and coffee), I started to feel awake. Though I don't remember it, Valerie told Dave that when they reopened my Herschel incision a lot of fluid came out and apparently my drain had become clogged. Additionally, I had pulled a stitch loose and the Doc not only re-routed my drain tubing, she re-stitched my tear. So, I guess it was a good thing all around that she went back in.

The second surgery will delay my radiation treatments about a week or so. I see Doctor B in two weeks for a post-op check and (hopefully!) the drain removal. And I see the radiologist the following day for a consult on my radiation treatments. We're entering the final phase of treatment and I couldn't be happier about that.

Yesterday morning I felt so good that I went outside, walked down the steps and down the driveway through the meadow. It was the first time I'd been for a walk (even a short one!), in months. It felt so good to be outside, pain free, and to have the energy to make the 200 yard walk by myself. I'm coming back .. slowly but surely and everything is sweeter. My taste buds are back, my appetite is HUGE, my hair is coming back and I no longer have the lead raincoat or concrete shoes to slow me down. I won't ever be the same .. I'm gonna be BETTER!

Love to all of you who have cheered me on and inspired me!!

It's a "do over" .....

Yesterday I watched my surgeon's hands remove the tape from two of my three incisions. I wanted to ask her if, as a little girl, all she ever wanted to be was a surgeon. She does nice work. Not that it's an issue (no beauty pageants or wet t-shirt contests in my future!), but her cuts look like they will leave minimal scars.

Surgery for Herschel's removal was Tuesday, June 28th. We arrived very early and were sent to a "holding area" with other surgical patients. Prior to surgery though, I had to have a mammogram with needle placement so that Dr. B could find my (now) tiny tumor. It was interesting having my boob smashed between plates of plexiglass while having rather large needles inserted north and south of Herschel's hiding place. The radiologist, another beautiful, intelligent woman doc, numbed me with lidocaine so apart from the sting of that, all I felt was pressure when the needles (like acupuncture only bigger!) were placed. Still, the best feeling of all is when they release pressure and the booby smushing is O.V.E.R. Aaaaah. That's better.

Once the needles were placed they inserted wires (about six inches long) through the opening in the middle of the needle to anchor them in place. So now I have two long needles and two long wires hanging from my breast. My next question was, "How on earth are you going to transport me?" There were lots of giggles from us all, me, the radiologist and my mammo tech. The mammo tech assured me it was all very high tech. Wait till you see ....

Yep. That's a styrofoam coffee cup taped over the protruding hardware! I thought it was hilarious but told the doc I was going to complain if I was charged for a mocha-latte-anything on my bill.

So me and my Lady Gaga outfit are shuffled back to the surgery ward where I am further equipped with compression hosiery and a hair net (Haha .. what a waste!) Dave and I give kisses and off I go. The last thing I remember are the big lights on the OR ceiling. Nite, nite ya'll.

I wish somebody would record me in recovery. I must be a scream. I do remember saying, "Maaaaaaan, I missed the whole party .. I wanted to WATCH!" Dave says I repeated every question four times BUT I was the only one who could get my hearing aids in right! I'm not sure how long we were in recovery before they moved me to a room kind of like an ICU suite. Thankfully, there was a recliner for Dave. I slept off and on but got up to walk the halls several times before bedtime. My precious nurses, Mary, Jingle and Tierney were WONDERFUL. Yes, I said JINGLE!

Even the food was not bad. And there was so much of it that it fed both Dave and I. My surgeon's assistant came in bright and early the next morning to confirm that I was doing awesome and by 8:30 am we were released and on the road to home. Vicodin made it painless but I was surprised to find my left arm didn't work so well any more. Doctor B removed my port, so I had one incision on the right of my chest. The lymph node dissection incision was the largest and most painful running about four inches in the fold where my arm meets my torso, the Herschel excavation incision about two and a half inches the left side of my breast and the drain for all the fluid on my side, over my ribs. I had no idea how juicy I was! Saint Dave would be responsible for the care and maintenance of this little plumbing addition for about three weeks. God love Dave!

So, despite the fact that I have been abundantly sore this past week, (the lymph node dissection is the worst!) surgery was not an unpleasant experience, just another chapter. I am so blessed to be surrounded by such loving family and friends, I won't ever take you for granted!

Yesterday, I saw Dr. B for post op followup. I was a little concerned since she told me she would see me in two weeks and they reappointed me in only one. Turns out my pathology report was good news/bad news. The good news is that of the 26 lymph nodes taken (all of them on the left side), only two tested positive for cancer. The bad news was not too bad, but Doctor B. is going back in on Friday to retrieve the last bits of tumor that remain. A clean margin (healthy tissue around the tumor site) is considered. .2 mm. Mine is only .15 mm, so a bit more surgery is in order. I really don't mind ... I'd much rather do this NOW than later. And I am grateful for the thoroughness of my doctors.

So, it's off we go again to MDA bright and early tomorrow. I won't know when my surgery is until I call in after 3 PM today but there will be no overnight stay this time and Dave and I will be home tomorrow evening. Me in the recliner ... and my sweet Dave snoring on the sofa beside me.

I see the radiation doc on July 21st and we'll find out from there what my schedule of treatment will be. Thanks, as always for you continued prayers. Don't know what I'd do without 'cha!