Dave has been telling me for months that I'm da bomb but I haven't really put too much stock in his assessment of my "bombhood" because he is really, prejudiced! But lately so many awesome things that have happened to me that I have decided that I am, INDEED, da bomb!
First of all my surgeon, Doctor B, decided we had gotten maximum benefit from the wound vac and on December 21, just in time for Christmas, she took me off. What a relief! I had been on the wound vac since my final surgery of October 14 - ten weeks - of constant negative pressure (aka "sucking"). I did the math and it was 3.5 psi on my poor, wounded boobie, 24/7 for two and a half months. While the positives of the wound vac were reduced chance for infection, increased circulation and faster healing, the downside was the inconvenience (sleeping with it, taking it to the bathroom with me in the middle of the night, carrying it with me on my shoulder or in my hands EVERYWHERE I went), the constant muscle fatigue, pressure and weight of the thing. But Hoover is history and I couldn't be happier.
My incision on December 21 was still over 1" deep and wide but Doc B and my wound nurse, Evelyn, were confident that Dave could clean and dress it until it completely healed. And so was I. I thoroughly enjoyed all my nurses from Home Healthcare and I know that I will miss them, but I can't deny that I am happy to be making progress!
A week after I saw Doctor B, I was scheduled to see my radiologist, Doctor S. She hadn't seen me since my last radiation treatment due to the October surgery and she wanted to see how my skin had healed since my last radiation treatment. There wasn't much to see as I didn't really suffer any burns or blisters. I got a nice "Tahiti tan" and only one 1/2" break in the skin but apart from that, it was easy peasy. She was very pleased with my skin condition but urged me to moisturize my breast and left arm daily. I'm also not to take long, hot showers or be out in the sun unprotected for any length of time. I finally remembered to ask if I was "cancer free" and she said that, yes, according to the findings of my last CT scan on November 30, I am CANCER FREE. I have "watch spots" on my liver, lungs and thyroid but none of these areas changed with chemo or have changed since then, so they'll just be watched for the next two years. CANCER FREE! I can't tell you how much weight lifted off me. I didn't even realize I was carrying that burden. Doctor S released me to the care of my oncologist, Doctor M and my surgeon, who will continue to appoint me every three months for probably a year, slacking off from there.
I had NO doctor appointments scheduled for January. NONE!
Now. About my hair. It's about three inches long and CRAZY curly! I can't tell you how many dollars I have spent in my lifetime on perms to have curly hair. My hair was always board straight. Apparently it's not all that unusual to have curls after chemo. I googled "Chemo curls" and lots of ladies have posted photos of their newly sprouted curls. I don't know if it will stay curly or straighten out as it grows but I plan to trim it regularly just to keep it healthy. Styling it consists of letting it air dry with some gel on .. slicking back the sides and scrunching up everything else. I don't even use a comb. Talk about no muss, no fuss! :)
And lastly, since being off the wound vac I have noticed that every day I am a little stronger than the day before. Last week I was able to walk all the way through the grocery store and stand in the check out line with Dave! That's a first. Usually I poop out somewhere in the middle to the end or couldn't handle standing in line and would go out to the car. Then, when I got home, I was able to put away all the groceries and cook supper without taking a break. THIS IS HUGE!!!!!
I've caught up on the laundry and started cleaning closets and I'm trying to regain some sense of organization after a year on the sofa! And I've started walking a half mile every morning to the gate and back! It wasn't long ago that I could only do a few laps on level ground in the meadow. Now we're talking GOING UP HILL! Tiny victories .. but victories that make me very happy with myself!
I'm different. I've lost a lot of muscle mass, and I look vastly different than I did this time a year ago. I'm not nearly as strong as I was but I know that will eventually come back. I am more enthusiastic than I've been in months about what goes on outside my windows. I'm enjoying my woods and critters again. I'm COMING BACK.
The doctors say that with my regime of therapies, chemo, surgery and radiation, plus my tamoxifen (an estrogen blocker), my predicted rate of cancer recurrence is about 3 percent. I don't think I will completely trust that until I've been cancer free for a couple of years, but worrying about having cancer again is not anything I want to waste too much time on.
The knowledge that I've beaten it THIS time, plus all the boundless love and support from family and friends makes me sure that, come what may, I CAN handle it. I hope that my experiences journaled here will encourage anyone who stumbles onto "Adventures with Herschel" in a quest to learn more about their own recent cancer diagnosis.
And one last thing. The last surgery was far more extensive than the first two and I'm going to have quite a "dimple" from the loss of tissue. So, being ME, I decided to name it. Shirley. Shirley Dimple. If there is one thing I've learned above all else it's that YOU HAVE TO LAUGH.
Life goes on. Ain't it grand?
