So, tomorrow I have my routine CT scan prior to my routine oncology checkup and routine blood work. Here's hoping it's all ROUTINE. Every time I have a scan or a test or a biopsy, I worry about what they will find. And now I know that is pretty much SOP for any cancer survivor.
The trick is not to get it get the best of you.
Some rather strange things have been happening. Last week I lost two toenails. They were the ones that were ugly gray a while back. I guess it's death by chemo but it's 11 months since my last treatment so you'd think they could have hung on. (At least through sandal season .. right?) There is nothing uglier than a toe without a nail.
The other thing is that my left leg has been swollen for two weeks. Putting my feet up doesn't relieve it and it's been almost painful at times. Not sure what's causing it but I hope it's not the first sign of lymphedema. Wouldn't that start in my surgical arm anyway? More questions for the oncologist. I have a fistful.
I'm gaining weight like a sumo wrestler despite my increased activity level ... and I swear I am NOT eating junk food! No sodas, no ice cream, no pie, no cookies. It's very discouraging but I suspect it's the Tamoxiphen. And I've got to have that for at least seven more months before I switch to a different estrogen blocker.
And for those of you who are interested in my awesome experience at the Casting For Recovery retreat, you can check out my blog entry here. I've pretty much switched my attention away from AWH and back to DRH. I'll still come here to report anything newsworthy (like my suicidal toe nails) but mostly I am too busy being in love with my piece of heaven here on The Dirt Road.
I hope all of you are well and finding joy in your piece of outside.
Love from the woods,
Darlene
It's Easter Sunday. I don't even remember what we did last Easter. Probably, I was on the couch and Dave watched me sleep and Mom tried to find something I would eat. I had my second FAC chemo cocktail on April 20th, so by the 24th I was probably laying pretty low.
This year I am celebrating my own resurrection of sorts. Every day I am working in the yard a little trying to build up my strength and regain territory lost to weeds and high grass and a year of neglect.
This morning I started our Easter dinner early and then went out to mow a little, pick up a few limbs, start a burn pile and rest a lot in between.
Three things gave me so much joy - well, more than that, but these were the TOP three: A wren is building a nest in one of my bird houses. This makes me especially happy after losing a pair of chickadees and their eggs to a raccoon last week.
Some salvia that I planted two years ago survived neglect, gophers and the drought and are growing (with all the grass and weeds!) in one of my flower beds.
And in another, some tiny mouse ear hostas also are making a comeback despite being completely overgrown with weeds and having no TLC since I planted them two summers ago.
Like my salvias and my hostas and the wrens .. I'm coming back.
My last appointment at MDA was a two day affair. On March 27th I had my first post surgical mammogram. I wasn't thrilled about the idea of smashing my still healing tiny boob in the boobie blaster but it had to be done. Thankfully, I had a gentle tech who understood my anxiety and, together, we got it done. It was only slightly more uncomfortable than every other mammo I've had.
The following day my breast surgeon, Dr. B., released me from her care. Part of me was sad about that. I've enjoyed having her (and PA Erin, and Nurse Kelly) as part of my medical team. But she assured me that it was a graduation of sorts and that (God forbid) if I ever needed her again, I knew where to find her.
My mammogram showed all the expected things, changes due to radiation and surgery, but no evidence of cancer. I am NED - No Evidence of Cancer. That's a pretty big deal! Especially since the day after I was scheduled for a uterine biopsy which had me mildly rattled. That, too, came back as no cause for concern but, due to not enough tissue for a proper evaluation, we're repeating it again in August.
Skin lesions that were tested early in March also came back as benign.
NED.
"No cause for concern."
Benign.
I think I will stop worrying now and get on with my life, my mowing, my raising of a few vegetables, my bird love, caterpillar adoration and life.
Life as I knew it before.
Life as it was before Herschel.
I had to explain to some folks that being released from one doctor does not emancipate me from MDA entirely. I still have regular appointments with my oncologist, my dermatologist and my nurse practitioner at the Cancer Prevention Center.
I will still have regular CT scans and blood work and bone density scans and well woman exams, all in the name of keeping me healthy and free of cancer.
But the hard part is over.
I will continue to update the AWH blog as appointments occur or symptoms arise but for the most part, I am returning to DRH for good. It's where I belong .. and as you know .. no shoes are required. Thanks for always being on this journey with me.
God bless!
