Sunday, October 16, 2011

An Anniversary Of Sorts ...

A year ago today my life took a bit of a left turn here on The Dirt Road. I found the lump in my breast that would later be named "Herschel". All very timely considering it was "Breast Cancer Awareness month".  And only a couple of days after my beloved country doc adamantly suggested I get my first mammogram behind me. After all, I was 53 and overdue for a baseline.

All that and some angelic voices in my ear told me to check myself in the shower that day. And when there was no denying the presence of some unwelcome "thing" in my breast, I took the first step on this journey. Clearly, I was anxious as indicated by my blog posts  "Waxing Gibbous" and "Behind every cloud". I knew I had a hard year ahead of me but it hasn't been all bad.


But, here, on January 7th, just two days after my first chemo treatment, you can see all the fear in my eyes. I need not have worried. God took care of me all along the way. He opened doors and created blessings I could never have imagined on my own. I found out a lot things about myself, my marriage, my precious family, my community, my faith.

Some of life's experiences had taught me to be mistrustful.  I had to learn to let go and depend on others.  There was no way I could shoulder this all on my own and I was humbled by the number of people willing to help me share this experience.  Never, ever doubt the power of these five words:  "I am praying for you."  Whatever your beliefs are, to know that someone has petitioned God's ear on your behalf is so comforting, so encouraging and so very necessary when you realize you can't fix what is wrong.  But He can.


Sixteen chemo treatments, three surgeries, 30 radiation treatments and one unexpected hospital stay are now behind me.  As I write this, I am wearing a "wound vac" to hopefully rid my body of any and all infection that  has been my nemesis for the last month.  I am so grateful that I live in an age of antibiotics and the technology that has created a cure for me.  I'm grateful for all the years my doctors and nurses and technicians spent studying for their professions.   I'm grateful for the funding that provided my care - every penny of it.  All this and a thousand other things, I am grateful for.


Cancer is not a death sentence.  For me it has been a strange, unexpected, difficult, often nerve wracking, disturbing gift.   Now that I am on this side of it, I can appreciate how it has fine tuned my life, deepened my love, increased my faith and sharpened my vision.  I might be a little worse for the wear, but I wouldn't change places with anybody!


Even if my hair is trying to be curly!

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