Yesterday I felt tired. But I always feel tired. I was cold. But I am often cold when no one else is. Mom said I looked pale .. but I haven't been outside for more than a few minutes in months.
Then, around 9 pm, it was clear I was sick. Dave took my temperature and it was 101.5. Chemo patients are not allowed to have fever. It's totally against all the cancer rules. At 100.5 I'm supposed to run, not walk, to my nearest emergency room. But you know me, right?
Instead I called a dear friend who is an RN. She said I obviously had an infection and needed antibiotics. No problem .. I had some. My last visit to the oncologist, I complained of this constant, dry, annoying cough. It's often associated with Taxol but I stopped Taxol in late March. She thought maybe it was a bug and gave me a prescription. We had it filled but then the cough stopped so I hadn't taken the prescription. And then the cough resumed. So, last night, I started the antibiotics and took two Tylenol.
My friend said if my temperature didn't subside with Tylenol, I should go to the ER. I promised I would. Doctor Dave took my temperature every fifteen minutes for more than an hour when it dropped to below 100.5. We went to sleep but woke at 2 AM to re-check it and take more Tylenol and it was normal. And this morning when I woke up it was normal.
Whew.
So, apart from that little bit of excitement, not much else is going on. My fingernails are funky, some are trying to lift from the nail bed. My feet are numb and that's kind of annoying. My taste buds are getting better and food is starting to taste a little better but I am probably not eating 800 calories a day. I just don't have an appetite. My hair is staring to grow back on my head but I can only feel it -- not see it yet. The eyebrow count is still in single digits. The eyelashes have all flown away ...
One week from today I will have my final FAC chemo.
Last week I watched a news story about a local anchor woman who was diagnosed with BC about the same time I was. There have been several segments on the news since last fall. She's young, adorable and brave. She was having her last chemo treatment and when the final drops of poison dripped thru her IV .. she cried. And I cried. And I know that next Wednesday I will cry again.
Even for me, putting these emotions into words is hard. I feel a sense of accomplishment. I feel profound gratitude that it's almost over. And still I wonder, nervously, if I will regain all I have lost in the process. I know I will never be the same and that's okay -- but I do hope for strength, vitality, stamina ... HAIR!
But we're not done here! The hard part will soon be over but I hope you'll keep me in your prayers as I face surgery, healing and the weeks of daily radiation.
Someday soon we're all going to toast Herschel's vaporization. Meanwhile, there's a bald lady in East Texas who is still kinda gimpy .. so hang in there with me, okay?
One of the IND blog gang is going through chemo for cancer in the bone. He complains that everything tastes like metal, which has to be hard if you enjoy food otherwise. I hope you get your appetite and hair back in abundance soon.
ReplyDeleteBless you.
Hey Brigid,
ReplyDeleteIt was different with the Taxol tmts. That made my mouth feel "fried", like I had consumed lots of salt or burned my mouth with hot food. With FAC it's been more repulsive .. most everything tastes rotten. Even licking my lips tastes bad! Fortunately, that particular system only lasts about a week to ten days. I though I don't recommend this as a weight loss program (!!!), I have dropped about 15 lbs. in the last six weeks. I'll probably gain 25 when things tastes good again! :) Thanks for writing. I'm on my way UP!
Prayers and best of luck to your friend. This disease is just all too prevalent ..