Barium for EVERYONE!!!!!

It's just my little contribution to the world of medical science. These are my proposed flavors for barium ... and I am sure, with a little thought, I can come up with more.

Yesterday at MDA, was CT scan day. I had no clue what to expect. I was hoping whatever magical chemicals they were going to install in my system were uploaded via a painless, tasteless method. It was not to be.

But when I made a face to my CT Scan PR person when she explained I would have both an IV and an Oral experience .. she quickly pointed out that at least I wasn't having a barium enema .. also. I was quick to concur. Two out of three when one of the three is an enema is always a good thing.

So the flavors (yes, FLAVORS!) of barium offered to me were mocha, banana, berry and apple. Seeing as it was not even seven am, I thought the mocha would provide a slight illusion to coffee, so I went there. Don't go there. It wasn't awful .. but it left a lot to be desired. I had forty-five minutes to get down the lotta-mocha-yucko. Mmm. (yeck.)

I was told the first bottle would be swiftly and efficiently followed by a second bottle that I would have only 15 minutes to consume. Oh joy. I kept my empty bottle for evidence and when I presented it to my nurse, Cindy, she was quick to say we had to establish some level of trust between us .. and that I could throw away my empties.

Cindy offered me neuro-surgeon green scrubs for my date with the ct scanner and offered my second beverage. I decided to try the berry. Here is where you should applaud my profound wisdom. Berry-flavored barium is berrydelicious. Kinda.

Now in between all this cocktail consumption was about half an hour of merry-making in the waiting room with Aldine peeps, Connie & Joe, who where also there for a ct scan. Imagine that! Two Aldine girls at one time in a seventh floor waiting room at MDA. It was a recipe for disaster! I'm sure that more than one glance was shot our direction wondering what was REALLY in those barium bottles. We were having way too much fun.

There was something about me being OBESE .. something about having to grease up the tube to get me in it .. and something about getting me out IF they got me in. Anticipated delays while they searched high and low for crow bars and KY Jelly in industrial sized tubs. I don't know. I can't remember it all. After all, I was high on barium.